I Have No Idea What I'm Doing

Sometimes my blogs can go either way: on my personal blog or on my Youth Ministry blog. This one is to encourage parents and to encourage me.

Our lives just changed forever recently as my oldest child started Kindergarten. He just sat down at his seat on day one and started his coloring sheet without a care in the world that he'd just ushered his mom & dad into a whole new phase of life: the school age years.

Much like the days after he was born and we brought him home from the hospital, we were once again struck by the I-have-no-idea-what-I'm-doing bug. And then I came to the realization, as I hear youth talking about things like their parents helping them learn to drive on the interstate, that we have soooo much more to teach our kids to get them ready for the wide wide world when it's time to leave the nest as young adults! The remedy? (No, not more cow bell.) We just figure it out day by day.

This is really the same thing for us as parents as we look at how to nurture the faith of our children. We often feel inadequate or ill equipped. The sad part is that we are often tempted to just throw our hands up in the air, give up, or leave it to the "professionals" like Pastors and Youth Ministers. (Side note: I have yet to be the parent of a teenager. I have no idea what that is like. You do. You are already more of an expert than me in that department!)

When it comes down to what I believe to be the most important thing in life--a relationship with Jesus Christ and our kids' faith journey--why out of anything, do we find this one so daunting that we're ready to hang it up? Why do we feel so inadequate, so unequipped, so unqualified? Perhaps it as simple as that. We are inadequate. We are unequipped. We are unqualified. And this task is so important that we're afraid to mess it up. And yet we tackle so many other difficult things in life with such tenacity and energy.

Our kids relationship with God and their faith journey is worth it too.

The remedy comes in two principles. (1) God is there for us. Through the sacrifice of Jesus and the distinction now that the Holy Spirit is within us (New Testament) rather than coming on to us (Old Testament), we have a Helper in Him. You've probably heard countless times that God does not call the equipped, God equips the called. I am living proof of that! (2) As with bringing a new baby home or sending kids off to school or helping them learn to drive, we just figure it out day by day. We need to dive in and even admit to our kids that we don't always know what we're doing, but by-golly, we're going to figure this thing out together!

Okay, now for strategy for youth ministry. What if everyone does their part? What if we as a church family raise the bar of expectations and expect that parents will in some capacity be involved with the youth ministry their kids are involved with? We do it with their school work. Their t-ball teams. Band. Choir. Dance. The big Fall show. We need more than anything to be involved in our kids' spiritual formation. So perhaps the deeper question for the benefit of our young people is what if each of our youth had a constellation or a web of relationships within the church family? With other youth and with other adults?

And now for the super practical: if each parent helps once or twice a year: all youth ministry bases get covered, youth grow in faith AND parents grow in faith, parents get to know other parents, youth get to know other parents, and so much more.

The biggest dividend--and it's Biblical--is this: when we are faithful to build the leadership nets and a relational foundation, our youth and youth ministry will grow. It will be healthy. It will be sustainable. It will be life changing. Youth will NOT slip through the cracks when so many love and care for them in the name of Jesus. Young people will be coming in droves because the word will spread about how they will be loved, cared for, and brought into a life changing relationship with Jesus Christ through our church family.